


Pitter Patter

by marlynmiro



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Ambiguity, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, F/M, My First Fanfic, Poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marlynmiro/pseuds/marlynmiro
Summary: Because everything matters until nothing does.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 26
Kudos: 31





	Pitter Patter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zimtlein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimtlein/gifts).



> Your encouragement and friendship is priceless. Hope you enjoy this long awaited piece. 
> 
> Thank my lovely [Talik_Sanis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talik_Sanis/pseuds/Talik_Sanis) for beta-ing. He helped clean up my mess. Also, to not completely breakdown. That meant the world to me.
> 
> <3

The smells of asphalt, debris, fires burning, and ashes flying, sting like black acid dripping down, _down_ slowly, ever so slowly. Towers of streets angle every which way. Crackling, sputtering, snapping, dying blazes. _Dying_ blazes. Distinct, the scents pulled out by the rain, wet soil mix with pungent potent odors. The rain falls violently, identical to the parallel rolling streams down reddened flesh. _Everything is in ruins_ , and there are more things than just the structures at the point of collapsing.

_Pitter patter pitter patter_

Under the shelter of a crumbling awning, back facing the chaos, obscuring reality for a moment. Nothing matters. There’s a standstill. Not a sound, nor a movement. Not even the earth’s axis continues its tilt. Only for a moment. Creation in all its uncharted potential demands that the universe seize. It obeys. 

The Empyrean fires have been all but smothered, devoid, beyond caring, leaving a dark, _dark_ semblance of crumbled charcoal in the heavens with a crashing torrent. It bubbles from within and manifests in every way. Graying nimbus builds up overhead, smothering above like decaying mass of flesh. Bolts and clashing resound in the air and then, _only_ then does the Force release its hold and totality resumes. What’s left of it. Nothing matters. Nothing can make the stillness move, a broken heart _resume_ its beating, when souls are being pulled apart. _Why make the effort? What is there to gain?_

A louder clap forces its way down, pummeling the surface of the ground with the _rage_ of the gods. It echoes. Travels. Its range - insignificant - since its source is close, knowing the skies only showcase what’s boiling inside, spilling to the four corners. Another. Again. And this time she joins. A deep long roaring cry. Blood curdling, heart wrenching. Unforgiving. 

_This shouldn’t be happening. Shouldn’t have happened. Will not ha…._

_If only…._

At this, there’s a twitch. 

  
  


_Pitter patter pitter patter_

Suddenly, everything matters. The need to move outweighs the heaviness that consumes every inch of her. Stretching, releasing tension, lagged bending of limbs, bearings held up high, footsteps ponderous, like a newborn fawn slick in fluids, instincts driving determination beyond its limits, to - _Go! Go now!_ \- before the predator corners its prey and gives no room to run any longer. Arms carrying mass as heavy as the horrors that lead them here. The weight of destruction is creation’s to carry alone.

_Pitter patter pitter patter_

Pace is measured by the tempo of rainfall and rolling thunder, its steady streams soothing. Rain is grace; its mercies run new each day, and for once, if only this once, wishing it to wash away the pain, with each longer stride, she lets it erase the moments that fall behind. Just one moment.

She looks down to catch a glance - anything, because everything matters now, and a _flickering_ eye is all that’s gifted. 

It's enough. 

Adrenaline courses through her veins, blood flowing like glowing lava. If it weren't for the crying skies overhead, sweat would cover every inch of flesh, plastering her suit to her body. Steady breaths taking bites of warm air, and it’s becoming suffocating - no matter - she throws her entire body into each stride, longer, faster, higher. Feet flying, calves burning. They do not deserve pause, do not deserve to grab onto any traction, they only deserve to be pushed beyond their limits, but in giving them their due punishment, she falters and almost - _almost_ loses balance but failure is no longer an option and steadiness reigns inwardly-directed rage for another moment. 

Nothing drastic. Nothing that will slow her down, because everything matters now. A shift in angle, slightly higher. Just a breath; that’s all she needs. One shallow breath, worth more than the second-guesses and maybes. The what if’s and why nots. At that thought, the realization comes crashing down, hard and loud like a thunderous roar, mirrored by the storm around her. It sits solid, deep within her heart, and she wants to fall down with it, throw herself beyond the precise because what if nothing matters anymore and before the wracking sobs overtake her soul and breaks the one into two - a _rasp_ \- and it’s then. 

Everything _still_ matters. 

<•>

_Pitter patter pitter patter_

_“Ugh, I’m convinced this Chat hates the rain, Bug,” he said with a grimace, hand out beyond the angled roof top that’s sheltering their bodies from the onslaught. It picks up the pitter patters and the sound makes music on black leather._

_“Silly Kitty.” She giggles, not with her whole heart but enough to cover its strains. “Do you think it’ll let up soon?”_

_Eyes soft, head tilted, smile genuine, “Sometimes, I think you affect the rain,” he said as if it was the most obvious conclusion._

_Flabbergasted by the comment her reply came hesitantly, “What? Pfft, that makes no sense.”_

_Still no sign of uncertainty, “Of course it does m’lady. Or are you going to tell me you aren’t sad right now?” At this, she glanced up in surprise to see, still see, eyes soft, head tilted, smile genuine. She hums, more than enough of an answer for both of them._

_“Well then m’lady, let’s lift your spirits a bit so the rain can seize its rampage on the city and we can get going.” With a grateful smile she nodded, if only to hide the fact that she’d rather stay. His warmth, oh goodness his warmth, like the high noon sun in mid spring, brings life so full, colors so bright, smiles so wide….._

<•>

  
  


_Pitter patter pitter patter_

Everything still matters. Warm skin pressed upon warm skin and everything _still matters_. There’s time, there’s opportunities; it’s not over, just a little longer. So close, so so close. “We’re almost there,” and it’s the first words to be voiced, to be heard among the rain’s ranting and it’s enough to settle its torrent and calm it into a drizzle. “We’re almost there,” and the driving force that hastened her prior steps, making her soar like a bird fighting a headwind, wishes to die down to a lag, each lift, stride, vault, leaden with exhaustion. Sodden strands, matted, weighted, a dulled dark night, like the remnants of her mangled soul, heedless in their sway, drip their own love song of pitter patters over golden locks, a fading sun, it’s warmth being secreted by life’s misery, taking away everything greedily, but there’s still time, and everything matters now. 

_Pitter patter pitter patter_

Time is everything she has and doesn’t. Only time can heal what reason cannot, but she’d rather do without it, wallow in the sweet agony of her wounds, bleed out through her despondency, but she knows she wouldn’t reside long enough for it to count, couldn’t, no matter how hard she’d try. Because everything matters until nothing does. 

She keeps running. 

Dazed, she recalls the tale of how the sun loved the moon so much that it died every night to let her breathe. She’d rather suffocate. Let the sun live and burn for eternity and leave the moon to freeze in darkness. But it never does and she loathes the sun for its self-effacing nonsense and the moon for only accepting it. Duality and destiny always seemed to keep her this way, between joys and sorrows, a life split into two, never allowed to be whole. 

She pushes harder.

  
  


_Pitter patter pitter patter_

She forces her last strides, goal in full view, knowledge from hours prior leading footsteps here. Usually brimming with life, the public sector is filled with an eerie silence, desolate, but she’s certain who she needs to find is inside so she doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t give in to doubt. Only advances. 

The rain creates its own abstract art, beads on the glass panes of the towering monument, and any other day she would marvel at the designs, but today is not “any other day” and everything matters. 

One final leap and she’s at the entrance, her last reserves of strength built up to pound down the obstructing nuisance facing her, the only barrier left between her and redemption. Terra has forgotten the consequences of creation’s rage, for every act of creation is first an act of destruction and both spiral uncontrollably down within her, because _everything - matters._

Turning corners, sharp, careless, bruises accumulated from walls bashing into her sides, but she doesn’t care, because at this moment, when anything can happen, everything matters. 

Collapsing to the ground, only softening the blow for destruction’s sake, crumbling limbs and fragments of a shattered heart lay askew, sobs bubbling up only to be swallowed down by gasps.

Tears make their appearance anyway.

“Kitty, — we- we’re here. See? ...aarghh - don’t you dare leave me, you understand? I’m going to - to fix this - an - and…. it’ll be-” she gulps, “be like it never happened. Okay?” Squeezing his hand. Harder the second time. 

He doesn’t squeeze back.

She knows he’s everything, and everything matters, and without him nothing does. Creation still holds the weight of destruction with one hand, mostly likely to never let go now that she knows, and the other lets go of his fingers to stroke at the bangs covering his face, pushing them off to the side, exposing flesh. She lays soft tear-swollen lips to his forehead, slowly to his temple, lingers to touch lips over an eye, a graze over the edge of his mask. She stops to nuzzle at his cheek and inhales deeply, but only takes in the scent of doom, a bitter, acrid stench that has washed away glorious musk, and leather, and vetiver, and - and everything. Holds back tears. Another kiss. This time over the jaw. And one last one, full of reverence, mixed with sweet nothings: _I love you, and I need you_ repeated over and over again. 

She doesn’t notice the appendage that sneaks its way around her waist, until it squeezes, until chapped lips add pressure under hers, and here, now, nothing else matters. 

  
  


_Pitter patter pitter patter_

The skylight above plays the melodies of the pitter patters like a lullaby, soothing the soul - bringing rest, and they breathe it in. One last time. Pink hair, short body, eyes that will see so, so much, rounds the corner and shock fills the room, silence for only an instant, and the pitter patters resume. 

There’s not much to say. No need to speak the reason. She knows. One swipe on the yo-yo and the jewel, the only one, that she carries with her everywhere is presented like a last hope.

“Alix Kubdel”, bluebells submerged in despair meet unreadable ones. “Here is the Miraculous of the Rabbit, which grants the power of evolution. You will - you will - … use it for the greater good. Once the job is done….. Once you…..” and words are lost on her because it’s not a job and there are no words, not enough syllables to explain _this_. So she only glances up again and asks, “Can I trust you?”

Eyes flicker back and forth, reading the room. Taking in what’s to be the last time. Determination in silence is her only response. 

“You’re my last chance.”   
  


Because in the end — everything matters.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!!
> 
> Its based on a head canon I have after a few clues given in certain episodes. 
> 
> Comments are always welcomed.


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